I realized that I don’t write very often lately. I don’t know why, I guess I feel uninspired as of late. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t think I will ever figure it out. I don’t think I will ever leave my crummy job and if I do it will just be for another crummy job. At least it’s only part time…..
My goal is to live in the moment and enjoy life. My idealism is dead. I don’t think my life has a great purpose. I used to think I was destined for something great, but I realized a certain little annoyance called reality and it crushed my dreams. I’m not depressed, seriously. I’m just being realistic. I will never know my purpose if there is such a thing and I am trying to be totally cool without ever knowing anything. Agnostic about everything in my life in general I guess.
As for the 30 Day Shred, it is going well, my stomach looks more toned. I haven’t dropped any sizes or anything, I think I’m impossible of losing much weight. I have decided I don’t care anyways. All I want is to be healthy and happy, I’ve wasted far too much time hating myself. It’s time for acceptance. I am still going to continue The Shred because I feel healthy and maybe, just maybe it will pay off. I start Level 3 either tomorrow or in a few days. (It depends on whether or not I’m in pain. If I’m in pain, I’m sticking with Level 2 until the pain is gone.) I am doing all the Advanced moves at Level 2 though for the most part, except one or two moves. My arms look damn good and my abs too. I don’t know if I will lose a size though, maybe it just takes longer. I wish I could lose my boobs most of all. If I don’t it doesn’t matter, but it would be good if I do.
